The Promise
by Katara-alchemist
Summary: Sometimes it's only possible to live life when there's an end in sight. And sometimes promises just can't be kept, even if they were made to the person you love.


**An: Sorry I vanished off the face of the Earth, guys! My computer crashed and I lost a bunch of stuff and college started eating my brains and then I moved and family stuff happened and...blech. I've missed you guys though! Because of the stuff I lost Crooked Wings in on hold indefinitely. I'm so sorry!**

**Now, for this new baby. This has the potential to be a story, but right now it is JUST a oneshot. If ever decide to write a full story with it, it will be separate from this. I love this concept, but honestly I don't really know what to do with it. So! Should anyone else want to use this idea have at it. I'd love to see something done with it, but I just don't have the time. All I ask is that you PM me a link so I can read it. **

**Angst ahead...**

Alec lazed on the couch, a book open on his knees and a glass of an expensive vintage of wine balanced between his fingers.

"A book, wine, and a roaring fire. This looks rather romantic, save that you're alone." A familiar voice whispered from the doorway.

"I'm not alone. I've got a book." Alec smiled, looking up when he didn't get a response from Magnus. The shadows thrown by the fire shifted and Alec caught the somber expression his husband's face, "What's wrong?"

The warlock was quiet for awhile, just watching the fire and leaning against the door frame. Alec, familiar with this sort of mood with Magnus, didn't press it. He just watched him quietly, letting Magnus work out whatever it was he was thinking. Ten years of being together, and being married for four of those ten, gave you quite a bit of practice reading another person and knowing when to talk and when to just keep your mouth shut.

Eventually Magnus came over to the couch and knelt down to crawl between Alec's legs and rest his head on the Shadowhunter's chest, wrapping his arms tightly around the man.

"You want to tell me what this is about?" Alec asked softly, playing with Magnus's hair that was currently down to the middle of his back and tied in a tight ponytail, though it changed almost weekly depending on the warlock's moods.

"I-I don't know if I can keep my promise." Magnus choked out, burying his head in Alec's shirt and clinging to him.

Alec took a deep breath, closing his eyes as he hugged Magnus tightly. Rolling gently he pressed the lanky warlock between the back of the couch and his body in a vain attempt to feel like he was actually succeeding in shielding the love of his life from all of his pain.

"It's okay." The shadowhunter whispered softly, kissing Magnus's hair. "I never really thought you could."

OooooooooooO

"Jace?" Alec knocked softly on the door of the nursery, not wanting to wake little Max.

Jace frowned at the expression on his brother's face and quickly set his daughter in her crib before stepping out into the hall to follow Alec to the library.

"What's wrong?" He asked, eyes tracking Alec as he walked to crack one of the windows and stand in the breeze.

"I needed someone to talk to. In person."

"You came all the way from Rio just to talk? Did you and Magnus have a fight or something?" Jace asked as he leaned against the grand oak desk in the center of the library. His desk, now.

Alec gave a short, dry, laugh. "Dear Angel, I wish. A fight would be easy. I know how to handle it when we fight."

"So you don't know how to handle this then?"

"No. I have no idea." Alec whispered.

"Best start from the beginning then. I'm guessing this is complicated." Jace replied, moving to actually sit on the desk rather then just lean against it.

Alec was silent for a moment, watching the cars trundle by outside. "Magnus…he's one of the oldest warlock's on Earth anymore. Maybe even the oldest, we don't really know. He's…he's to old, Jace. He's lived to long. The human mind, and his mind at least _is_ completely human, it isn't meant to live for so long. The body can withstand being immortal for much longer than the mind. Magnus…he's lost so many people. Been hurt and betrayed and screwed over so much. He trained himself not to feel. And he was good at it. He cut himself off. But then he fell in love with me,"

Jace cut him off sharply, recognizing his brother's tendency to blame himself for pretty much everything in some manner, "Whatever is up, you can't blame yourself for it."

Alec smiled sadly, "I don't, I promise. Doing so would mean saying our love was a bad thing, and it certainly isn't. But I did open him up again, Jace. I've made him feel again. And all that stuff he locked up for centuries came back, and it scared the crap out of him. Like I said, the mind isn't made for immortality.

"It happened slowly at first. Not wanting to see certain people. Not wanting to go certain places. He won't go _near_ London anymore. But we managed. Some of that wall was still there. He could still separate himself just enough to be okay. Then I proposed to him, and that broke down the last of the wall. He said yes, of course. He was ecstatic, and I think slightly confused that I was the one to ask him rather than the other way around." Alec smiled fondly at the memory. "But the next day he was gone. Just a note saying that he needed to be alone to think. I gave it a week before I started to worry and decided to go after him. I found him two weeks after that drunk and high as hell in some fairy run cantina in the middle of nowhere in Mexico. I brought him home and he told me everything. How he couldn't cope anymore. How the idea of living any longer terrified him. How he wanted to kill himself and the only reason he didn't was because of how much he loved me."

"Alec…" Jace whispered, horrified by all of this. He hadn't realized that it had been happening. Whenever he saw Alec and Magnus they seemed perfectly happy. Magnus just as crazy and colorful as always, throwing glitter at his kids and looking totally innocent when Jace turned around to find them sparkling.

"He promised me something, Jace. That day. That he'd never do it. That as long as I was alive that he would live for me. And then…when I died he would follow me. That was what we agreed on. And it worked, for awhile. He'd get restless though," Alec smiled fondly, "that's why we travel so much. Move so much. It keeps him distracted."

"So what changed then? Something must have. Why else would you be here?"

"Our arrangement, our promise, it only worked because Magnus thought he _could_ die. That he could follow me someday. He could function and live as long as there was an end in sight."

"But…?"

"But we don't think he can anymore. Die, I mean." Alec whispered, turning back to watch the cars. "The Silent Brothers captured a warlock who was fathered by the same very powerful demon as Magnus, though he's half Magnus's age. Well. Captured isn't really the right word. He came to them and asked the Brothers to kill him. He said he was tired of living. Said he tried every spell, every poison, every type of death he could think of. None of it worked. The Silent Brothers tried everything _they_ could think of. None of it worked."

"Magnus didn't take this well, did he?" Jace asked.

"I had to sedate him to be able to come here…" Alec answered his brother. "I didn't…didn't want him to do anything while he was gone. But I couldn't bring him here because of the kids. And I don't know if he would've come either. Jace, I don't know what to do."

"Would you? Would you let him die? Kill him, even, if there was a way?" Jace whispered.

Alec was quiet for a long time, staring at his brother, "I don't want him to suffer anymore, Jace."

* * *

**AN: I know, I know. I leave for months and this angsty thing is what I come back with? Sorry. Sort of. Kind of. Not really. I swear I do love you guys though...**

**Reviews please? I'd love to know what you guys think of this concept! **


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